Monday, April 2, 2012

Girl as a product and Marriage as Sales phase !

Notations used in this article:
Product = girl
Marriage = Sales
Manufacturers = Girls' parents
 Buyer = Scapegoat / Bride groom

Please have a look at the product life cycle below. To elicit this product's behavior, I strongly believed only hourglass image will perfectly fit in.

For the image above, you can refer to most of your "sold"  "product" friend's pictures for the various phases (college, just before marriage, after marriage, .. ) mentioned above. The hour glass will at least correspond to the weight :)  

Phase 1 : Product Conceptualization.(Age group : School & College Days) 

  • The manufacturer pampers the product so much so that everyone has a doubt, how the manufacturer is going to trick the buyer to sell the product. 
  • Mostly the product weighs an average of  85 to 90 kgs in this phase. 
  • Manufacturer has little/ no control over the product. In some cases, the product has more control over the manufacturer. 

 Phase 2 : Marketing Age group : After college days and before marriage) 

  • The product is fine-tuned and pruned so that it can be sold well in the market. 
  • There will be more advertisements about the product with "reduced weight", "charming", "no guys around", "in temples" banners. 
  •  Product's decibel level will substantially reduce in this period. The product behaves in a "soft spoken", "reserved", fashion. 
  • The manufacturer shows as great sense of "life-long" support and responsibility over the behavior of the product which gives the buyer, a great sense of confidence to buy the product. 
  • The product will exactly fit in the requirements specification of the buyer.The product will "function" as requested/specified by the buyer. Buyer believes that this is the "product" God has destined for him.
  • The product will be heavily trained with great pain to say "Sorry" in a very apologetic tone for its own mistakes
  • This will correspond to the shrinking curved nature of the hour glass that the product mends to the buyer in order to pass through the "sales" phase. 

Phase 3 : Sales ( After marriage) (Product 2.0 , upgraded version)

  • The product "analyzes" and "estimates" the buyer so meticulously and takes only the "defects" of the buyer as input and they will be logged for appropriate usage in the future.
  • The product will ensure that other "by-products"(bride groom's relatives) of the buyer are no longer used by the buyer
  • The manufacturer almost issues "grace period support", "validity expiry notice" for the complaints over the product by buyer.
  • The product "functions" as it wishes and never as "required" by the buyer
  • This will correspond to the hourglass's phase 3 .i.e., initiation of reversion to the shape, similar to shape in phase 1

 Phase 4 : Post Sales & Support 

  • The buyer "functions" well as commanded by the product with no issues.
  • The buyer is forced to pretend to everyone that his "product" is good and he enjoys the usage of the product.
  • The "manufacturer" will demand apologies from the buyer for not "using" the product well. 
  • The product will gain more weight (Above 90 Kgs) than in phase 1 during this phase. In most of the cases, the buyer loses weight and hair in this phase due the "functioning" of the product.
  • Buyer is supposed to say "sorry" for the defects of the product at least 100 times a day in order to get the product working.  It is also found that most of the buyers face huge amount of physical and verbal malfunctions from the product.

My deepest condolences to all the "buyers".


  1. When are you becoming the buyer? :P

  2. Going by whatever you write about marriages, I can only assume

    1. Your parents are in the "Buying" process.
    2. You will soon be a happy and proud buyer of a shapely hourglass... ;)

    On a serious note, previously the girl's side used to offer dowry to get a worthy was bad...things changed for the good, people (read we) became educated and we understood whatever happened was unfair and stopped asking for a dowry but now the girls are more particular about the income of the guy, the status of his family and their total worth :) - or rather, may be it not the girls but their parents who have become more particular and choosy.

  3. I am sure, you will be a satisfied consumer (buyer) in near future.. :-)

  4. mapley.... both sides fair-a eludhanum... poor girls... :-p

  5. Why this kolaveri?

  6. ippadi ellam sonna (ezhuthina) ethanayo pera paathaachu... aana avanga ellam kadaisiyila....