Wednesday, February 29, 2012

கணம் கோர்ட்டார் அவர்களே

Year :  1987,
Location : Oru Bank, Trichy

While Mr.Citizen handed over the cash worth Rs.10,000 in the denominations of 100s, 67/100 notes were found to be fake. Sensing the situation right, Cashier Mr.Ramakrishnan(My friend's dad) alerted the security guards and handed over Mr.Citizen to police.

Rotating the mosquito coil in anti-clock wise direction...

Year : 2003,
Location : Trichy bench court.

Mr.Citizen is now the சதுர வட்ட செயலாளர் in one of the தமிழகத்தை வாழ(?) வைக்கும் கட்சி.  He is guarded by at least 10-15 alla kais with 4-5 lawyers. They have threatened my friend's dad not to appear in the court. My friend's father, being a honest person, didn't wish to boycott it.

Enquiry :

Government Lawyer : நீங்கள் தான் ராமகிருஷ்ணன் என்பவரா ?
My friend's dad : ஆமாம் .

Government Lawyer :  1987-ஆம்  ஆண்டு  Oru Bank-il நீங்கள் cashier-ஆக  பணி புரிந்தீர்களா ?
My friend's dad : ஆமாம்.

Government Lawyer :  அப்போது ,  இதோ இங்கே  இருக்கும் Mr.Citizen  கொடுத்த  100 , Rs.100 நோட்டுகளில்  67 கள்ள நோட்டுக்கள்  இருந்தனவா ?

My friend's dad : ஆமாம்.

Mr.Citizen's lawyer : இதை நேரில் பார்த்த சாட்சிகள் ஏதேனும் உண்டா ?

My friend's dad : என்னோட  bank manager தான் சாட்சி

Mr.Citizen's lawyer : Your honour, Mr.மேனேஜர் இப்பொழுது அமெரிக்காவில் உள்ளார்.(He is around 75 now) . அவர் இந்தியாவிற்கு அடுத்த ஆண்டு தான் வருகிறார் என்பது குறிப்பிடதக்கது .  As he is suffering from USA Visa, Please give me the "வாயிதா " for 6 months till he returns.

Judge : Since Mr.Manager is the crucial witness for this case, your  "வாயிதா " is Granted buddy! Cheers!

The case is still going on and it will go on ..... Although I have added some fun elements to the above statements, no much deviations to it and it is somewhere between 90-92% true

2 months back, When I read that ISI has made  Rs.1 lakh crore (Still less than Spectrum scandal's amount) equivalent fake indian currencies in the market to succumb the value and its credibility, I sensed what sort of destructive role is being played a fake currency. அந்த தப்பு தான் இப்போ நம்ம Mr.Citizen செஞ்சி இருக்காரு. The case has been going on for more than 25 years with only 1 session of enquiry . ISI-a  ஒன்னும் பண்ண மாட்டீங்க, பண்ண முடியாது. You will lose a specific vote bank for the same reason, why Mr.Ajmal Kasab is being pampered with Rs.12 crore/year without execution of the punishment. But, here, you have solid witnesses, you have ample proof. But, still the case is dangling for more than 25 years. Do we see any light here ? Certainly no.

சட்டங்கள் கடுமை ஆனால் தான் குற்றங்களும் குறையும்!

A simple citation :

In Singapore, usage of bubble gums is banned since it deters maintaining the city clean since some they were sticked on the park benches. Also, the suction vaccum cleaners doesn't function efficiently when bubble gums get in. Besides, laser sensors used in metro train doors was TWICE (only twice) hindered by some mischievous citizens who sticked the bubble gum over the sensors. Citing this, bubble gums were banned very effectively. There was a huge foreign investment in bubble gum industry in Singapore by Wrigleys and other major brands. They never cared for a moment with regards to that .  More details can be found here . This is how a responsible Government / legal  system should conduct its citizens for the welfare and development of the society.

There are only two kind of people who can handle this effectively

1. Wood judgement (கட்டபஞ்சாயத்து )  -  Many prominent figures

2. Gandhian Way - Person 1 , Person 2 

Monday, February 27, 2012

Bride Search

Bride search scenario represented as SQL statements. Might not appeal non-IT guys!

Compare every statement with the previous age's statement.

Age 26 :

select * from profiles where
gender = 'FEMALE' and
financial_status = 'RICH' and
complexion = 'FAIR/VERY FAIR' and
education = 'Minimum GRADUATE/POST GRADUATE' and
occupation = 'WORKING '
religion = 'K'
caste = 'X' and subcaste = 'Y'

Age 27 :

select * from profiles where
gender = 'FEMALE' and
financial_status = 'RICH' and
complexion = 'FAIR/WHEATISH' and
education = 'GRADUATE/POST GRADUATE' and
occupation = 'WORKING '
religion = 'K'

Age 28 :

select * from profiles where
gender = 'FEMALE' and
financial_status = 'MEDIOCRE' and
complexion = 'WHEATISH/DARK' and
education = 'STARTING FROM 10TH standard' and
occupation = 'NOT SO PARTICULAR'

Age 29 :

select * from profiles where
gender = 'FEMALE' and
financial_status = 'NO PREFERENCE' and

Age 30 :

select * from profiles where gender = 'FEMALE'

Age 30+:

select * from profiles where gender LIKE 'FEMALE'

Friday, February 17, 2012

My dressing sense!

As most of you know well about me and my dressing sense and appearance, no further introduction is required for that. College friends acknowledge me well with my highly/moderately wrinkled orange/yellow shirt every other day for all the 4 years.

2 incidents that describe my dressing sense at its best.

Incident 1 :

Every friend of mine who has met my dad will say one thing for sure. "nee apdiye unga appavukku opposite". Yes, he is a man nearing 60 and known for wearing Ray ban glasses(even after 8pm :) ) , Rado watch with a perfect white & white all the times appearing all the time with a cleanly shaved face and a perfect hair style which he never allows to turn grey. His aim is to look younger than my mom. My father & I standing next to each other will resemble a benz car & a second hand bajaj scooter

Year : 2004
Location : Sree Krishna Collections, Chennai.
Characters : Me and my producer(enga appa than)

He was looking for clothes for me with new designs and patterns in various materials. He showed me a few designs and I was looking at the price tags only without seeing the size/material/color. He was frustrated and asked me just to walk beside him and not to look at what he is selecting and what he is paying for. I felt that is the best choice too. I was gazing at the various clothes here and there. Suddenly, a mylapore ambujam mami  walked in and told

"Dei Thambi, andha 3rd shelf-la irukkira thuni ellam konjam eduthu podu da!".

Appa's reaction :  He walked very fast and moved to the next bay in the shop so that no one senses that we are related in any way. I walked very fast toward him and he told  "Kai eduthu kumbidraen. Dhayavu senji poyi veliya wait pannu. Indha 10Rs., veliya poyi cheap-a enga tea kedaikkum nu parthu kudichi kittu iru. Naan varraen". I walked away happily with 10Rs. But, tea was highly expensive @ Rs.4.50 over there. So, adha saving panni thiruppi kuduthuttaen.

Incident 2 :

Year : 2007
Location : Gudiyattam Railway Station
Characters : Me and Udan poruppu(My sister)

My sister was working in Chennai then and my dad asked me pick her up @ railway station on a fine friday evening. I parked my bike in the stand and was waiting for my sister to come. When the train arrived and I saw my sister coming and noticing that she hadn't noticed me , I sneaked in the crowd and went near her and asked her

"Madam, Auto Venuma?"

My sister looked at me and just smiled and was about to hand over the luggage to me(as she always employs me a porter for her luggages), appo  crowd-la irundhu dog voice from a Nita Ambani madam,

Nita Ambani Madam : "25Rs. than tharuvaen. Indha pudi en luggage-a". 

My sister : "Naan 50Rs. tharraen. Nee pudi pa en luggage-a".

Me: (Thinking of Gandhiji in  my mind and lookin at the vaanam) Sathya Sodhanai

Took my sister's luggage and headed fast towards the bike stand.

Kooda porandha akka kooda enna madhikkala. Gandhiya-ey sutta Naadu idhu. Idhula naan mattum enna vidhi vilakka?